A Bitter Route.

A Bitter Route.

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  • day 8: os nos in alons à laon, ze first hill of ze francigena
    August 28, 2025

    day 8: os nos in alons à laon, ze first hill of ze francigena

  • Day 7: sobering up on the somme.
    August 13, 2025

    Day 7: sobering up on the somme.

  • day 6: how to find a rat in arras
    August 6, 2025

    day 6: how to find a rat in arras

  • a footnote from amettes, or: wondering what it means to pilgrim
    August 4, 2025

    a footnote from amettes, or: wondering what it means to pilgrim

Metastatis, or: Social Media

abitterroute

biking on the Via Francigena, Europe’s oldest, longest pilgrimage trail | @2millman4


1000 miles already??

#viafrancigena #why


1000 miles already??

#viafrancigena #why

everyone asks us: how does one go from england to
everyone asks us: how does one go from england to france by bike when there is so much water in the way? 

people: HAVE YOU NOT HEARD OF BOATS?? 

yes, we is and are officially one month into this trip, and three days into this blog. for filthy ferries and flippant films, would-be wines and welcoming waiters, salty sorbets and stubborn stances, you need only click Le Link.

#viafrancigena #dover #river #channel #calais #unclekent2 #potatocrisps #dunkerque

kentish cockle villages, platonic love affairs wit
kentish cockle villages, platonic love affairs with boys named roy, sales on ales, and a nation's most awesome cathedral, plus plenty more complaining in the latest installment of A RITTER BOUTE (available where all links are sold).

#viafrancigena #canterburycathedral #abitterroute #aritterboute #ales #cockles #sittingbourne

I managed to squeeze in a few words on the first t
I managed to squeeze in a few words on the first two days of this stupid journey...writing while biking is hard work, even if you're writing mostly about bowel movements! 

Check it out on abitterroute.com, or subscribe to el newsletter which is probably linked somewhere around here.

And now me and my sad, stupid legs go to shleep.

#viafrancigena #abitterroute #abitterpoop #news

This post is brought to you by @kefirandco.fr — t
This post is brought to you by @kefirandco.fr -- there's no better bitter for your next #guarbecque que 

#ad #sponsoredpost #gwarbecue

Some of my friends went behind my back, raising mo
Some of my friends went behind my back, raising money to help cover the cost of shelter on this trip. O-ver-whelmed. You can find my response on a bitter route dot com.

#gofundme #cacciaguida #impostersyndrome #overreacting #viafrancigena

Fig. 1: Today, my gear n’ me biked up a hill to th
Fig. 1: Today, my gear n' me biked up a hill to the very same lake at which Bohemian authors George Sterling and Ambrose Bierce first met in 1892.

Fig. 2: In doing so, I made my first public appearance in bicycle shorts a mere 15 years after that one attractive woman told me I had chicken legs, which is something I don't ever think about, not ever. 

Both can be considered progress, right? ...right?!

#bikeshorts #biketraining #bikesofinstagram #bikenike

Congratulations to me for managing to bike an enti
Congratulations to me for managing to bike an entire 12 miles on flat asphalt! What a terribly unpleasant way to waste four hours. 

#marathon #training #marathontraining #bathtime #sleepytime

38 days away. 💆🏼🔫

#gulp


38 days away. 💆🏼🔫

#gulp

No turning back now: this summer, I’m going to bik
No turning back now: this summer, I'm going to bike the entire Via Francigena -- 1,200 miles, from Canterbury to the Vatican -- and shall be keeping a record of what I see and the amaro I taste along the way. Read along, if you wish to witness my suffering. 

Directed by Eric Millman
Edited by A Tufted Titmouse 
Starring Piotr Stojanoviç as Eric Millman
Produced by Clint Eastwood 
In Collaboration with Pebble Beach Resorts 
Music by EnjoyMusic.ai

#viafrancigena #bikepacking #bitterroute #travelogue #muffinsarefood

The folks at @watersideworkshops have surely had t
The folks at @watersideworkshops have surely had their fill of me. Over the last few months, they've helped replace the
🕳️rear wheel
🕳️crankset
🕳️cassette 
🕳️rear wheel again
🕳️chain
🕳️saddle
🕳️rack
🕳️tires
all to see that Ralph, my '79 Bianchi, might have a shot at making it over the Alps. 

All hail co-ops and bless ye merry volunteers.

#bikepacking #viafrancigena #berkeley #diy

The above logo is modified from a page in Johannes
The above logo is modified from a page in Johannes Hartlieb’s Kräuterbuch (Herbal Book), ca. 1462, detailing the genus Mandragora. Interestingly, herb lent its name to comic hero Mandrake the Magician (pictured here in a rare costume test of Marcello Mastroianni from Federico Fellini's unrealized film adaptation). 

It shall henceforth be known, unofficially, as the root alluded to in the title of this account. Why, you ask? Well, let's turn to common mandrake mythology which recurred in Europe throughout the Middle Ages.

This hallucinogenic root was believed to have sprouted from the piss/blood/fat/cum drippings of a sinner at the site of his hanging. Considered to have magic powers relating to some variation of good luck, good sex, or surefire fertility, the mandrake was highly prized, to be sure, but with one downside: uprooting it would cause the plant to emit a horrific shriek that would cause anything within earshot to drop dead. This lead to a tradition of tying the root to the tail of a poor, unsuspecting dog who would be sacrificed for its owner's domestic benefit. 

I am the mandrake, forced from my habitat. @all_hat.no_cattle, as you will soon discover, is the sacrificial dog charged with disrupting my spiritual slumber. You, poor reader, are the unsuspecting passerby subject to my shrill, baleful cries. 

Welcome to A Bitter Route. For better or worse, this is largely how things will go from here. 

#mandrake #bitterroute #viafrancigena #travelogue



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